Today we’re so excited to announce a revolutionary new service offering –
GraveInfluence™
Created in partnership with our pals at personal branding service, Great Influence, GraveInfluence is a groundbreaking service that keeps your personal brand growing, decades after you’ve logged off for the very last time.
Features include…
In Loving Meme-ory
Forget grey granite gravestones. Our AMOLED multimedia gravestations proudly display your social stats and unearth throwback posts from the vaults for the world to enjoy in perpetuity. Because your heavy-hitter posts, vids, and memes deserve to be resurrected over and over and over …and over again. Forever.
No-Ghost Mode
Don’t leave your followers hanging on for content that never comes. Automate your social media to post posthumously, from now until the universe is swallowed by a black hole or until the sun turns into a red giant that engulfs all of the inner planets—whichever comes first. Guaranteed.
Eternal Engagement
Seances are so last century. Your AI-powered spectral avatar will handle all your interactions from the other side—liking, sharing and commenting around the clock.
BRAIIIIIIIIIIIINS
Just because your brains are leaking out your ears doesn’t mean you can’t be a world-class thought leader. Your AI-powered assistant will keep a finger on the pulse of all the latest trends, publish thought-provoking articles, and leave witty Linkedin comments to show the world that you’re still a deep thinker, even while you’re six feet deeper than your peers.
Testimonials
“Listen, the hustle doesn’t stop just because you’ve stopped breathing. GraveInfluence? It’s a game-changer. It’s about crushing it 24/7/365—and beyond—it’s about legacy over currency, my friends. So, what’s your next move? You gonna let a little thing like the afterlife keep you from dominating your niche? FUCK NO.
It’s time to think bigger, to ensure your legacy is as immortal as the digital footprint you leave behind. That’s how you change the game. That’s how you WIN. That’s how you leave a mark that outlasts all of us.”
– Sherri Vaynerchuk, Entrepreneur & Social Media Influencer
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“I’m immensely proud of the work the team have done in bringing this project to the afterlife, er—life—sorry, and I’m prouder still to be our very first customer. There’s no reason my personal brand should flatline once my heart does.”
– Andrew Dobbie, MadeBrave
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“I’ve peered into the abyss of marketing bullshit, and GraveInfluence stares back as the paramount of innovation—a service so visionary, it transcends mortality itself.
To the architects of GraveInfluence—take a fucking bow. Your creation is a stroke of marketing genius. In the vast, ever-expanding cosmos of digital eternity, GraveInfluence is the North Star—guiding departed souls to viral victory in the great beyond.”
– Mark McRitson, Brand & Marketing Influencer
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“Who says you can’t go viral in the afterlife? With GraveInfluence, we make sure you’re trending—not ending. It’s nice to know my eventual death will not be the end as much as the beginning of a beautiful new digital legacy.”
– Ash Jones, Great Influence
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“In a world where attention is both scarce and scattered, the idea of GraveInfluence reminds us that our impact can ripple through time, transcending the physical boundaries of life itself. It’s a testament to the power of ideas, proving that if you’re remarkable enough, your influence doesn’t have to end at your last breath.“
– Beth Godin, Author & Entrepreneur
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GraveInfluence. Rest In Perpetuity
Pssst…
Happy April Fools!
